Let me just say if you ever consider flying United, first shoot yourself in the face and remember this is how you will feel when you've completed your experience with them. If you're ok with that, by all means book with them. Here is how my experience went:
1. Get to Austin airport, learn that plane we're using to go to "DC" is late by 15 minutes. No big deal.
2. Plane arrives 15 minutes late and then we're told (at the time we should be boarding and ready for departure) there is an interior exit row sign "missing" and they of course cannot fly the plane with out this integral frickin sign. So the mechanic literally without exaggeration has to go to the shop and physically make one.
3. At the one hour late mark, we're finally allowed to board. Once we're all on the plane and the door is shut, the pilot comes on and says JUST KIDDING, this plane isn't going to DC, it's going to Cincinatti! This plane can't actually hold enough fuel to make it to DC so we have to stop to refuel in Cincinatti. I'm sorry, what? You booked 100 people on a plane to a place that the plane can't hold enough fuel to get to???@@#??@$^@%&#?&?????????
4. So we sat on the tarmac for another HOUR and at the two hour late mark we finally departed to a completely different place than any of us agreed to when purchasing our tickets.
5. We arrive in Cincinatti and again, against what we were originally told, we had to get OFF the plane while they refueled. The originally said (while still in Austin) that we could stay seated on the plane while they refueled. So we all file off, most of us in hopes there would be something, anything to eat since we had eaten lunch but not dinner because our initial boarding time was 4:30pm (to be landed in DC by 9pm). Like many others, I had planned to get dinner during my layover at 9pm. Well, apparently Cincinatti doesn't like the dark and literally not one gate agent or food vendor was seen in the entire terminal! I shit you not. So we file back on the plane.
6. We finally get to DC at 11:55. Original arrive time was supposed to be 9pm. Yay. So does United have a good number of agents waiting with already-pre-printed-and-rebooked tickets for over half the plane that missed their connections? NO. Of course not! So we all go to stand in a 50 person customer service line that has ONE lady working because the other one mysteriously ran to the bathroom right as we all arrived in line.
7. At 1:30am I finally get to an agent and get my flight rebooked for 9am and get a hotel room. Then it's out to the curb to wait for a shuttle. I arrive to the Marriott (the only positive experience in this whole shitastic day) around 2:15am. I buy all the snacks they offer from their "convenience" mart (cheez-its, peanuts and jelly beans) because I'm literally starving at this point as well as a tooth brush because did I mention I have STREP THROAT? Yeah. So I had to toss my old toothbrush per docs orders but thought that would be fine because I have plenty at home... except I never made it home.
8. I had to be up by 6:30am today to make it back to the airport (which by the way is the size of Texas and has trains AND trams as well as 15 floors of escalators to get around it) for my 9am flight. I arrive at 7:30am and try to use one of the $10 food vouchers United gave me. Except guess what? It doesn't work! Hahahaha. OMG. FML. So I buy my first meal in almost 24 hours with my own money.
9. Please Jesus get me home to Charlotte. We are supposed to start boarding in 15 minutes. Pray for me. And also see the below hysterical pix of above mentioned "food voucher" and their idea of a boarding pass.
Enjoy this light reading about United Airlines in your leisure:
According to this poll, 88% of people hate United
Even Facebook has a page for United HATE
Just an FYI- that is an itinerary not a boarding card. You sound super ungrateful too, theres people in the world who cant even afford to travel at all. life goes on
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